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Gothic Personals
asphodel: an ill-natured beauty
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NeoNemesis 8.1
Monday, July 29, 2002
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I changed from using this a long time ago... so dont come here any more, i dont use it, go to the one above, its better... and i update it almost daily...
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Thursday, June 13, 2002
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boy i was lonley then huh? oh well im over that...
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Tuesday, June 4, 2002
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I miss life...
I need some one to hold...
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Sunday, June 2, 2002
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damn you people! theres only one entry in the guest book!
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Sunday, June 2, 2002
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Life is starting to get REAL boring... i need some friends.. .desperatly... the only problem is ill move and then they will all be behind me... thats thier problem im trying to solve mine goddammit! sigh, losing love is like losing the ability to eat, you feel sick, you feel tired, you feel sorry, you feel sad... you start to become desperate to consume anything possible... oh well... its not as if id kill myself... too stupid and arrogant to do so...
i tried to make a couple of onlinish friends but they dont seem to want to respond... damn them.... no dont, damn me... i believe i belong in some accurside place to live out an afterlife...
"i wish i could just find one person to be able to find something truly good in my... but every one ends up hating me... whether in a liking or non liking way"
im going now... no sence in whining any longer...
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went over to where our new house is and checked out my room which hasnt been painted but the bed is cool cuz it has a human size cubby under it that i can tell im going to become very familiar with... also started to plant a small garden... can you tell im over joyed? (very saracastic) but i learned there are bunnies all over the place that i will turn to my "horde of fluffy evil minions!" and one of the neighbors has 2 ducks that i dont know the names to so i gave them my own names... Mrs. Quackers and Mr. Bojangles (i dont know the genders but it ooesnt really matter because they are ducks) well I am off
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
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Oh happy day, for some reason the things that matter actualy looked up and saw the sun instead of looking down into the soot stained earth... 2 of 2 things that mattered happened in a decent matter... well technically both came out maybe's but for now that is good enough for me... no wait 3 things happened! i got awknowledged as being cared about in a small small sense when the teacher wanted me to stay in the same school but not like my german teacher who just wants to yell at me more... what else... oh yeah, my mom said it was conceivable to see some one on our family vacation (probably going to be some of the worst days ive had in a while) and i learned that i was not totaly being avoided for bad reasons as of yet...
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Wednesday, May 15, 2002
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I feel kind of happy, i got a web cam and a printer today... i could probably stick a post of the web cam on this site so you can all gaze apon my terrible self... Ill work on that!
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Tuesday, May 14, 2002
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etching "weak" in your arm... you cant succumb to your feelings... they will destroy you... only you can determine fate... but you cant determine your determination... so you see through my eyes...
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I also hate that crush kind of love.. watching that one girl walk by, even just thinking she might come by and my heart pounds so hard its actualy painful to my chest... I have told her so much and am still scared to tell more... i guess I'll have to get over that...
Tuesday, May 14, 2002
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Love sure sucks doesnt it? you start talking like you never have, feeling how you never have... all kinds of wierd stuff... but its so nice to fulfill isnt it?
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I'm done here... The only thing driving me to go on is in the hopes of seeing the people i care about tommorow...
Sunday, May 12, 2002
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today i made a few new friends... all of my newer friends got to see a picture of me sadly... oh well, thats my problem. I re-got into slipknot music wise... but i still like system and kittie and all them as well...
I wish i could find more johnny comics, were more made? i thought there were, i guess not... it shouldnt just stop there... What a loser am i for being addicted to a comic...
Today i was told 3 times i looked like some one from incubus which would be like the 5th time iv'e heard so... *shrugs* thats amazing.. well its not but oh well...
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Saturday, May 11, 2002
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today boredom hit and it was like the life was taken out of me. I did nothing all day and i became very bad at conversing with others. Its as if some ethreal being came up behind me and inpaled me with thier dead hands ripping our the spirit in me... that probably didnt happen but would be really cool wouldnt it?
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Saturday, May 11, 2002
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Today is wierd, im bored but blissful... even though i have no word on the last post... Kinda wierd that i changed so quickly...
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Friday, May 10, 2002
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NO! I dont know what to do, first the girl asks if we should meet some place, i at first decline the notion, i have yet to hear from her... I check out her web site and she thinks no one cares, what if its too late before i atleast get a chance to try and help or something? I dont care Ill go meet her, I will walk across the city to see her if thats what she wants but i dont want to lose some one like this, not after just hearing from them...
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Friday, May 10, 2002
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I am in the hopes that I may have made a new friend. Another from over the goth personals thing. She lives by me too, time will tell what happens hopefully i dont disapointer her...
I sit w/o paper,
i dont think that one is great but i kind of like it... now for another
The angel of broken wings I am not the angel of broken wings... that goes out to a friend... Its so sad to see an angel like her who should be amongst the clouds, but it stuck in terrible limbo
Im a wingless demon, sitting on the ground
That all I got for now...
Friday, May 10, 2002
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Today i had a huge AP test and then my mom wasnt reachable so i had to walk my 2 1/2 miles home and when i got here it was almost 6... and it doesnt matter because i failed it any ways.
But when i finnished making up big parts of history i got inspiration... I covered my arm with short poems (only 3 but i wrote too big)... so for the lack of other things to talk about I'll write them here...
writing on my arm
b/c i need to express this
b/c i have no speach
it shows me that I must be heard
and so i do take notice
that I'm writing on my arm
brought down by human rage
no longer shall she fly
shes forever in a cage
one day her wings will mend
I'll watch her fly away
and tears of joy I'll cry
"I'll love you forever" I will say
last poem
i sit here watching angels fly around
Seeing them I say
I too will fly some day.
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Thursday, May 9, 2002
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Just to get the ball rolling as they say I will start off with a little about me segment...
I don't believe anything like i've had a terrible life, maybe worse than other but theres always some one who has had something worse... hypatheticly you could have been paralyzed (i don't mean I am) for the rest of your life before you had a chance to do anything, feel bad for them instead.... just take in the bad times along with the good, because sooner or later the good times must come around, it all depnds on how well you take them in...
My birthday is in may of 1986. I was born in Fort Benning GA and grew up as a army brat. I now reside in Minnesota.
I'm now about 6'2" or 3" about only about 140 lbs (yeah i know, I'm a living stick figure) and I'm getting through life pretty well.
I like making websites for no apparent reason and listening to music, writing, and drawing but i love to talk to people without restrictions... I love talking about philosophies, psychiatrics, all the way down to cartoons... I am a 16 year old child who has tendancies to be an elder... Makes no sence? good, if you want sence of it contact me or something...
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Thursday, May 9, 2002
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Yup, im loosing it, I am being completely changed by one person... but its bringing the power to withstand each day coming out of it thinking "that wasnt so bad"...
also at borders books i found Oracle by Kittie on sale and since its the first time i saw one of thier cds in a store here and it was on sale i bought it... I'm kinda happy about it.
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Thursday, May 9, 2002
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Ok, finally got this up and running, now to fix it up, hope this ends up working well.
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-Links
Gothic Personals
asphodel: an ill-natured beauty
Email me